Tied to the Planner...

I sat down in the big easy armchair and laid my head back. I was generally at ease for a few minutes. But, like most people, my fruitfulness is self measured by achievements that can be crossed-off, highlighted, or moved to the next day's agenda list. Some popular planning system with the initials FC is the devil. My life is tied to the planning system, it is a mind focusing, detail oriented, Task Master. I am lost without it. And I have only myself to blame.

I was always a list maker, from childhood. My short term memory is for the birds, and prioritization on paper helps me stop bits and pieces of information from swirling in my  head. If I don't make a list, I will be trying to remember what I needed to do, only my mind acts kind of ADD'ish when it comes to that.

In any event, it was logical for me to grab onto this popular planning system and all the great time management and project management training, right. Already a list taker. Check. Needs to prioritize. Check. Can't find her blip blip if not attached to her body. Check.

So, I signed on about 8 years ago. I took my first class and got my first planner. I lived by the planner. Only I did not really employ the planning techniques for prioritizing and quadrant living. You know, where you balance out the four quadrants of your life for a more effective, stress free, efficient life? Yeah. Chucked those with the box to the planner.

But I used the planner for the next two years. It was the law. If it was not in my planner, it was not happening and never occurred. But I was still a little stressed with time and project management. Aha! I will take the training again and this time actually USE the information I learn. Hmmm....why not? So, I gave it another shot.

I went to another class, with my planner in hand. I bought a new cover and insert as a part of class registration, but I wanted to have my active planner on hand so I could learn realistically.

First problem: The instructor seemed as if she used every single one of the effective habits on an hourly basis. I cannot do that. She seemed as if her life, career, family and finances were all magically in order because of her superior and specific use of every element of the planning system. I cannot use every element of a recipe, when it comes all together in a bag. I am the person who puts together a bed and always has one extra screw. THIS IS NOT GONNA WORK...my mind was screaming.

But, my job had paid for me to have this full day of training with treats and beverages, so dag on it, I was gonna learn this system inside and out. Initially, after my hyper reaction subsided, it was all good. Turn to this page, Ms. Management would say, and do this...okay, now a group exercise.

To use a planner? Let me freshen my tea first, and maybe eat my apple. I feel fatigued. It is 11:00 a.m. already.

I participate, and make some great new contacts and acquaintances, even getting an invitation for drinks later from a group from out of town. I perk up a little and learn how to prioritize my day using the right symbols and categories, and how to use my monthly page to catalogue entries I may have made that I might want to get back to quickly. That never worked so well for me. Making a note about a note seems redundant, and just plain, well, strange.

By mid afternoon, after an hour lunch....I am going down. I have drank several cups of tea and coffee, and am now working on ice water. I have at least two more planned bathroom breaks. Great for me that I have my coveted crossword puzzles from the New York Times, USA Today and the Columbus Dispatch. I spend nearly an hour working on that while Ms. Management discusses the 4 quadrants and how our lives fit and overlap amongst them, and perkily 'what could we do to manage this better? YES, focus on another quadrant. Typically Quadrants II and IV.' Sigh.

At 3:45 p.m. on the nose, the instructor begins telling us about all the lovely materials we can purchase and she happens to have them on hand RIGHT HERE on sight. Yes, and your company can buy them all for you for today's special price of $298.33, but only if they act within the next 72 hours.

That is my signal to start packing up my puzzles and return my tea & coffee cups and water glass. By the time 4:00 comes, and the instructor says 'It was so lovely....I have my jacket on, and having already exchanged business cards with the interesting people, am at the exit door waving goodbye. I grab my certificate from the front desk on the way out of the building, and hit the interstate with a sigh of relief. It's the weekend, because of course I schedule all of my training classes for Fridays.
On Sunday after Church, I sit down with my planner. I figure if I am going to retain any information, this is the time when I will be able to put it to use. I begin planning my week, and ohmygosh - these small nuances are incredible. Look what I can do: I can break my list of to-do's up in seven critical areas, list what my goal is for that area, and then list everything that needs to be done. I can prioritize THAT list with letters and or numbers, and immediately see where I should be focused. Then, I can make pertinent notes right across from that area (but I cannot make a note about the note on another page. #fail). I can color code!

After spending about an hour on my plan for the week, I do not have the energy to go on to the other areas I should work on, like one of my core areas of interest, blah, blah, blah.

I feel awesome when I am done - my week is right there in front of me. I did learn a couple of new ways to use the system, and even managed my Outlook email to maximize time and add ease to project management. Who knew I would retain all that while doing crossword puzzles?

In my mailbox, I saw the pamphlet with upcoming training classes listed. Project Management. I am registering as soon as I get back to the computer.

The Mommy Punk

So, tonight I participated in a focus group for a local parenting magazine and website. My children got to play for 2 hours at one of their favorite venues, and I got to sit with like minded people and listen and interact. I loved the social interaction, and even made some good contacts. I was also surprised to see a good friend who worked for the parent company of the magazine. Plus, they had food. That was a win/win situation.

After two hours, I went to collect my kids from their playtime. Of course, Bobbi had made new friends who knew her by name. And ELIJAH was stripped down to his first layer of t-shirts. He has taken to layering t-shirts over his undershirt, and tonight being no different, was down to the crayon blue Phat Pharm t-shirt. His jacket was sitting at the area entrance desk, and he was holding his first layer t-shirt in his hand. I was wondering why my child had stripped when he handed me a soaking wet t-shirt, and said in a giddy voice "Mom, I played in the water."

My mind, already recovering from migraine mayhem, begin to twirl out of control. I think I stood still for a full minute looking at this little person, wondering from whence he had come so I could send him back there.

Now, you must understand that earlier in the day I had gotten an email from Elijah's teacher about his in class behavior, and how he reported that she could tell me if she wanted, because nothing would happen. He may as well have flashed in neon "I have a Mommy Punk" for a parent.  He was already on My List. Of course, public displays of near child abuse are not socially acceptable. I just got him all zipped up in his warm jacket and put on his coat over top.

I carried the wet shirt to the car and got him in and seat belted. All the while I was thinking, Lord, why must I discipline this child? I abhor disciplining my children. But if I don't do it now, the world will do it later.

Elijah must've been thinking to himself in that backseat: We have spent tons of time playing at C.O.S.I. I know I am not supposed to get that wet. Oh man, I forgot about school. These thoughts had to be twirling through his mind, because he suddenly fake yawned really big and said "I'm tired. I just want to lay down."

I am often amused when my babies try to work their way out of a web they weaved. Not tonight. Telling a teacher that you don't care about authority is a no-no in this house. I am on the teachers side.

On the way home, he was quiet. I was actually glad about the quietness because I was bone tired. I have not participated in much since these migraines started and I was fully engaged at this event. Maybe I would just talk with him and put him to bed.

Then, to my surprise and consternation, while getting out of the car to go into the house, Elijah takes his wet shirt and rubs it into the snow mountain on the ground. I was flabbergasted. It would never occur to me, after nearly missing discipline AND getting to play at a place I love for over 2 hours, to remind my tentative abuser  parent of my capacity to misbehave.

That did it. I was going to give him exactly what he deserved, whether I wanted to do it or not. He had crossed the line of no return, and stubbornly believed he could get away without repercussion.

He basically was calling me the Mommy Punk. He pushed the chip off my shoulder. It was on! Spanking time. We had hung our coats, and Elijah sat on a heap near the sofa, sucking his two fingers, and doing a one man performance of  the depth of human tiredness. He yawned, he pulled sofa pillows around him. He lay over to this side and that side. All the while I was straightening the living room, making sure Bobbi finished her homework and thinking to myself  'why do I have to discipline this child?'

Then I remembered that it is my responsibility to oversee this child and provide him with guidance and instruction. If I don't give him correction now, he is going to be out of hand repeatedly. He would be right - nothing as going to happen. I put on my disciplinary hat and got busy.

Now, I just want to hug him and tell him he can sleep in Mommy's bed, but I restrain myself. I will not be the Mommy Punk in this house. Will not.

Purpose: present in the midst of the storm

Randy Alcorn's The Goodness of God: Assurance of Purpose in the Midst of Suffering is a classic look at living Christ like through pain and suffering.
He has joined the spiritual context with a modern dictum and personal experiences on walking out kingdom purpose in the presence of pain. I doubt that anyone who has suffered anything can come away from this reading without having left some heaviness behind, and gained a sense of renewed purpose.

Alcorn does not wax poetic about the real pain those who suffer endure, but thoroughly provides scripture reference that allows every believer, as well as non believers, to find that God will use even our most painful moments to create an avenue of salvation for somebody, somewhere. He provides for us the basis of God's purpose in us: to draw all men unto Him to receive salvation. To create an eternity opportunity for a lost soul. To save us.

Conveying this ultimate truth, Alcorn gingerly expounds on the way God uses our suffering and how suffering doesn't permit us a break from being ambassadors of Christ. In our suffering, we are even more drawn to Christ, and He is visible in us more than at any other time. In our suffering (weakness), Christ is made strong, and more transparent to us than ever.

Assuring the reader that suffering is not without spiritual results and purpose, Alcorn does not deviate from the Word of God. He so expertly provides scriptural evidence that God is good, even when we feel at our worst, that the reader cannot help but come to the conclusion: these things will work out for my good. God has given up way more than I have lost just to save my soul.

This book gives the reader a deep sense of purpose, a renewed joy in God's words and ways, and a chance to reason through a difficult time and conclude that God is indeed good. There is a comfort here, that can only be found in God.

The Goodness of God: Assurance of Purpose in the Midst of Suffering by Randy Alcorn, can be purchased at many outlets in both book and electronic reader format, including:

Amazon.com (book or Kindle version) http://www.amazon.com/Goodness-God-Assurance-Purpose-Suffering/dp/1601423438
Tradebit.com http://www.tradebit.com/filedetail.php/108345849-the-goodness-of-god-randy-alcorn
Christian Books.com  http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/cms_content?page=587760&sp=1010
Barnes & Noble (book or Nook format) http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Goodness-of-God/Randy-Alcorn/e/9781601423535/?itm=4&USRI=the+goodness+of+god

Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers has provided you with a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Little things that make me ask Who Does That?

I just want to talk, real quickly, about the meaning of the word 'eleven' and America's proclivity to take anything harmless and turn it into something self fulfilling and eventually, deadly or debasing. It is like corn on the cob - here is a simple food. But in America, you can get it deep fried, rolled in butter, and salted. Who does that? We do.

Back to the number eleven. It means 'one left over' or 'one over ten'. There is even a term 'elevenses' that refer to a mid-morning snack (after 10 before lunch - i.e. - one after ten). Check this out.

In England, the term “elevenses” refers to a mid-morning snack, such as biscuits with a cup of tea. The Spanish term las onces, “the elevens,” also refers to a refreshment taken around 11.
 (www.dictionary.reference.com)

Eleven brings the gift of spiritual inheritance, is gifted as the "Light-Bearer". It is the number of the Light within all. Strengthened by the love of Peace, gentleness, sensitivity and insight. Greatest facility is the awareness of universal relationship. Is related to the energy of Oppositions and the Balancing needed in order to achieve synthesis. Eleven is The PeaceMaker... Colours : Gold, Salmon, Prune, White and Black. (www.greatdreams.com)

Seems perfectly viable, right? Yeah.

Eleven can also represent sin; transgression and peril. Ten being the perfect number, eleven represents the exceeding of both.

American's - taking the awareness of universal relationship to mean the relation of the universe to establish and sustain all things of human folly.

The word “elevenses” was used in America as well. It referred to the now abandoned custom of a pre-noon whiskey break. Why? Who does that? We do. We took a mid afternoon snack of possibly a biscuit and tea, or a sandwich and drink, and turned it into what? a custom of a pre-noon whiskey break.

This has been another episode of "Only in America - land of the gluttons, capitalist, and pleasure seekers." Land that I love.

Bloodlines...familiy through thick and thin?

Oh the tangled web we weave, when at first we do deceive...the new addition to Dasaya Cates novels, Bloodlines, is a tale of deception and deliverance. We have all heard about bloodlines, family ties, and the deadliness of family secrets. Or how about the epitaph "What happens at home stays at home?" Cates unravels the reality of the impact secrets have on every party whether the keeper or the ones kept in the dark.

Cates writing pulls us into an intriguing family of wealth and prestige, with a secret. Several dynamics are at hand, and rhetorically, Cates touches upon the idea that our behavior is learned and trickles from the head (parents) down (generational). While Lena, the matriarch of this family, protects her own secret closet by any means necessary, her son is on a journey of secret building in his own life that could be catastrophic to the family name.


It is immediately clear to the reader, when Reynolds Bryden Colby Lang is stuttering over his vows to the beautiful and socially desirable Blair Lindsey Cannon, that there are problems ahead. But Cates is so sly in leading us through different corridors of the maze, keeping us off kilter about who the real secret keeper is that the reader willingly pursues. Eventually, and the reader is amazed at the depth to which Lena Lang, family matriarch, will go to hide something of which she is ashamed. Her concern over public image, societal standing, and immersing her past so deeply that it cannot be dug up cost her sanity, in the end.

Once I was into the novel, I was invested - I needed to know what the secret was that Deena was hiding. Then, I needed to travel with her children as they got closer and closer to the truth about who their mother was, and in turn, who they were as well.

I am impressed with the development of Cates characters, as they grow throughout the story, and the dialogue is so smooth you can almost hear dialects change. Although I felt there was more I needed to know about some of the characters, like Lena's sisters and the fleshing out of their shared past, I see many of the characters having story lines of their own in the future. I cannot wait to be a part of them.

http://my.barnesandnoble.com/communityportal/review.aspx?reviewid=1512795

Gods ways are Higher than ours: The Pirate Queen, a book review

Patricia Hickman has captured such an important message for readers – God can and will change an impossible situation into a blessed situation, in real time. Giving the reader both hope and promise, Hickman subtly spins the tale of God breathing life back into something dry. The Pirate Queen starts roughly, but it shortly segues into a well written story that makes the reader become engaged with this family, rooting them on, pulling them back, but most of all, waiting for the unfolding of the blessing with each turn of the page.

Saphora Warren is at the pinnacle of a life spent compromising herself and love for the well being of her familial relationships. Although she can recall falling in love with her husband, it is his character flaws that have changed their marriage into a quiet, well decorated prison. Saphora is a privileged woman by all accounts and a good wife and mother – but she has lost herself in all of these pursuits. Her husband, Dr. Bender Warren, shows no tenderness toward her and there is no residual left of his love for the mother of his children, bearer of his dreams.

 Now with their  three grown children all established, and nobody left to give care to – Saphora has determined that it is time for her to pursue a life free of the bondage of a loveless marriage and the demands of adult children. She is all ready to go – except as God will, He diverts her attempts with His plan.

As God will, He uses other people and circumstances to direct His people. Young Tobias, summer friend of Saphora and Bender’s grandson Eddie, shows them how to love in a new way, and how to open their hearts and find each other. The people of Oriental, where most of the story unfolds, embrace both Saphora and Warren, and change both their lives in the midst of circumstances from which only God can create a miracle.

Hickman takes us on a short journey with a family while God is working out His perfect plan. It is well worth the trip.